Using your Headphones to Drown Out your Mind

So I got to read with this little boy (let's refer to him as Harry) from another classroom this past thursday. It was a 'reading assessment' so basically, Harry read a portion of this book about caves aloud to me and afterwards, I got to ask him some questions about the book. Harry was really personable and chatty so I knew I would be in for a good book conversation. This book about caves is nonfiction, describing the formation of stalactites & stalagmites, and basically how to be safe while exploring caves. There's lots of good photographs and for the most part, its not a bad read, considering :) Anyways, while Harry is reading the first bits of the books, he stops at one of the first photographs and says, "Wow. This man is getting really dirty. His clothes are getting really dirty. His face is dirty too." I chuckle in agreement. Later on in the book, Harry again stops and points to a photograph, "There's even dirt on his helmet light. That's not good." Again, I nod but encourage him to keep reading. So once Harry has finished the book, I ask him a series of questions. Keep in mind this entire book is about caves; there is not one word about the mud or dirt. However, question after question, Harry keeps going back to the dirt. When asked about the main idea of the whole book, he quickly and confidently responds, "Make sure not to get dirt on your helmet lamp. If its dirty, you can't see. Then you'll get lost. You'll still be dirty too. That will be really bad." Sorry to say, Harry didn't do so well on this certain reading assessment... but as I was recording his answers, I kept thinking - This whole book is showing how cool it would be to explore a cave - why is this kid so hung up on the dirt??? Sheesh.

Ahhh, the irony.

As I sat down to write this blog - taking a break/procrastinating from writing a final grad school paper - I was considering what to share. After a week like this past week, I was tempted to just write

"Dear Readers,  

I am Hibernating with a capital 'H'. 

Thank you for your patience. 

Spring will resume again soon." 

But a people-pleaser to the core - not wanting your mouse-click to come to this blog to be a great disappointment, I will expound: this past week was a bit dark. On certain days, I felt like I was in a cave fixated on the dirt and mud, working tirelessly (but vainly) in keeping my helmet light clean - instead of being able to relish in the incredible formations all around, noticing and appreciating what the passage of time has already created, trusting that my little helmet light w/flecks of dirt on it is still more than adequate to keep walking onward. At times, I think I may have shouted, with a raised fist, angry tears streaming, "there's SO much dirt! GRRRR!" or "why does this mud KEEP coming back, splattering all over my clean helmet light? HMPH!"

There may have been other moments within this week where I might have just flopped over on the dirt ground.

Its weeks like these that I "use my headphones to drown out my own mind" - or at least attempt to do so - in order to put a stop to the downward swirl of muddy detrimental thoughts.

I am learning - learning to explore the current pleasantries of the cave - a little less focused on the dirt :)

And now, before we part, my current emotions about anticipating/waiting for things to come this fall: