So in 'transitioning' back to America, I find myself often caught in-between two separate thought systems. One not necessarily being 'good' and the other not really 'bad' but... just... different :) However, with my own personal tendencies and preferences when faced with certain situations, it creates a little hilarious chaos in the current everyday.
As I came to approach different instances, I kept thinking of the regular short piece in Animaniacs (beloved childhood cartoon) entitled "Good Idea, Bad Idea" - as though to sorta check my own mental processes before committing to action. So to kick off this blog, thought I would use it as a lil appetizer...
Good Idea: I was at the movie theater with some friends, about to claim my shared "dinner" order of a large popcorn and medium soda pop. (Notice I will interchangeably use 'soda' for 'y'alls' and 'pop' for 'you guys'. No need to presently interrupt the story with THAT dispute.) So the lady at the counter handed me the soda. My eyes bugged out, jaw dropped, and I forgot I now live back in the land of big and oversized. "Are you sure this is the MEDIUM??" She smiled, "Yes, m'am, that's a medium." And again in my lack of filtering, "Seriously?? This is a MEDIUM? It's... HUGE! I can't believe this is a MEDIUM POP!?!" The concession stand lady is just grinning now and my good friend gently takes my arm, leads me away, and calls over her shoulder "I'm sorry. She just got back to America." It was a beautiful night of constant peeing and bouncing off the walls :)
Bad Idea: In my new home, I am presently sharing a bathroom with two other girls. All last year, I did the same but somehow in the land of huge and humongous-bonus-size, it looks a little different in the shower space. All our individual shampoo, conditioner, soap, etc. bottles don't quite fit as compactly. Therefore, one of my roommates purchased this rack for us that hangs not-too-aptly at the shower head. You can probably sense where this is going... but the other night, I was sudsing it up and went to reach for my shampoo when THUD! the conditioner falls right onto my foot. It wasn't pretty. I've got an ugly photo for proof as well as roommates that can vouch for the puffed, black-and-blue portion of a leftover foot.
Good Idea: I was with a friend, riding in the passenger seat when we parked. As I opened the door, I spotted a hair elastic on the cement floor. It looked exactly like the ones I use in my own hair (the really fabulous Goody StayPut Elastics) and I went down to pick it up with only one thought: "US contraband! CLEARLY, it must be mine!" My friend saw me and as we walked together, she delicately brought it up. "So... what did you pick up over there?" "A hair elastic." Pause. "Gail, you DO know that you can now purchase those for a packet of ten for about three bucks, here living in America." Sheepishly, I got it out of my purse and dropped it back to the world's floor.
Bad Idea: So shopping has been a wonderfully disastrous option-ridden experience. The other day, I went to SuperTarget for the first time by myself to pick up groceries and other items. Although I had mentally prepared for the onslaught of choices beforehand by writing a grocery list, it still did not save me from venturing down every single aisle to just "look." Therefore, in the luxurious world of Target, with a credit card and hungry stomach, about four hours went by before I went to check out. The lady glanced at the overflow of items, smiled, and asked, "Are you having a party?" Nope... :)
As I came to approach different instances, I kept thinking of the regular short piece in Animaniacs (beloved childhood cartoon) entitled "Good Idea, Bad Idea" - as though to sorta check my own mental processes before committing to action. So to kick off this blog, thought I would use it as a lil appetizer...
Good Idea: I was at the movie theater with some friends, about to claim my shared "dinner" order of a large popcorn and medium soda pop. (Notice I will interchangeably use 'soda' for 'y'alls' and 'pop' for 'you guys'. No need to presently interrupt the story with THAT dispute.) So the lady at the counter handed me the soda. My eyes bugged out, jaw dropped, and I forgot I now live back in the land of big and oversized. "Are you sure this is the MEDIUM??" She smiled, "Yes, m'am, that's a medium." And again in my lack of filtering, "Seriously?? This is a MEDIUM? It's... HUGE! I can't believe this is a MEDIUM POP!?!" The concession stand lady is just grinning now and my good friend gently takes my arm, leads me away, and calls over her shoulder "I'm sorry. She just got back to America." It was a beautiful night of constant peeing and bouncing off the walls :)
Bad Idea: In my new home, I am presently sharing a bathroom with two other girls. All last year, I did the same but somehow in the land of huge and humongous-bonus-size, it looks a little different in the shower space. All our individual shampoo, conditioner, soap, etc. bottles don't quite fit as compactly. Therefore, one of my roommates purchased this rack for us that hangs not-too-aptly at the shower head. You can probably sense where this is going... but the other night, I was sudsing it up and went to reach for my shampoo when THUD! the conditioner falls right onto my foot. It wasn't pretty. I've got an ugly photo for proof as well as roommates that can vouch for the puffed, black-and-blue portion of a leftover foot.
Good Idea: I was with a friend, riding in the passenger seat when we parked. As I opened the door, I spotted a hair elastic on the cement floor. It looked exactly like the ones I use in my own hair (the really fabulous Goody StayPut Elastics) and I went down to pick it up with only one thought: "US contraband! CLEARLY, it must be mine!" My friend saw me and as we walked together, she delicately brought it up. "So... what did you pick up over there?" "A hair elastic." Pause. "Gail, you DO know that you can now purchase those for a packet of ten for about three bucks, here living in America." Sheepishly, I got it out of my purse and dropped it back to the world's floor.
Bad Idea: So shopping has been a wonderfully disastrous option-ridden experience. The other day, I went to SuperTarget for the first time by myself to pick up groceries and other items. Although I had mentally prepared for the onslaught of choices beforehand by writing a grocery list, it still did not save me from venturing down every single aisle to just "look." Therefore, in the luxurious world of Target, with a credit card and hungry stomach, about four hours went by before I went to check out. The lady glanced at the overflow of items, smiled, and asked, "Are you having a party?" Nope... :)
3 comments:
it's a party in the USA!
hope your foot is ok - it seems there's a new accident every time i read your blog!
GREAT blog! You just continue to crack me up!!! :) Love you kid!
Gail I absolutely love your writing! It always brings a smile to my face. You perfectly capture those small moments that say so much. Love you friend! :)
Courtney
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