If I were a boy...

 Each day contains new foods, new smells, new people, and very new experiences. It's been exciting, frenzied, wonderful, and incredibly beautiful - but also - frustrating, tiring, scary, and sweaty dirty. Its the good and the bad right now all rolled into one fascinating journey through this new world.

If I were a boy, I would go anywhere, anytime to explore this city here - which would be nice. Instead, I often feel very confined, dependent, and always closely watched... by the men... who sit outside cafes, stand outside stores, or just linger anywhere on the streets - curiously watching me trying hard not to make eye contact or smile back at them :) If I were a boy, I'd smile wide at everyone, even the guards/male faculty at our school and know it was okay. If I were a boy, I'd walk everywhere, so that I could really venture out...peeking into all the random hinutes (small stores that carry everything random and anything necessary), observe the local people, and find fun random alleyways.

If I were a boy, I would wear shorts and a t-shirt - which would be refreshing. Instead, I wear long pants and longer shirts so that - again, I'm not drawing any further attention to myself as a foreign woman, who is trying hard not to make eye contact or smile at the staring men :)

If I were a boy, I would move the furniture around in my classroom with greater ease - which would be nice. Instead, I'm shifting it inch-by-inch with all my strength on my own but in the end, I'd like to think that I have larger sense of satisfaction when the pieces are finally in place :)

On the other hand, I love being a girl and getting to kiss/kiss the cheeks of other women I meet, right away sharing in such intimate relationships. I love the beautiful and colorful clothing the women wear. I'm amazed by the strength and self-control of the women (while fasting) who spend hours and hours cooking the incredible evening meals for Ramadan. I love how the women here are so protective of one another; immediately there is a special warmth when you meet them.

And really, I am thankful that as a girl, I'm not supposed to really go anywhere "on my own" as it gives me a small excuse to travel constantly with others, having them there to laugh aloud when committing the many many social faux pas.

At this point, I think I just have to search harder for all the REALLY exclusively cool hang-out spots where all the women are hiding away from the staring men :)