Just because I'm losing Doesn't mean I'm lost Doesn't mean I'll stop

Having returned from orientation in Denver, this past week was a bit of a collision getting back into the real world... I have never seen that many emails in my school inbox! That, in and of itself, was a bit scary;) As each weekday progressed, it seemed the To-Do list got longer and deadlines approached quicker. Life as we all know it, right?

Hence, "just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost, doesn't mean I'll stop" lyrics that replayed again and again this week :)

Moreover, there were moments this past week, where I really felt like I was "losing", especially on an emotional and spiritual level. Doubts, fears, insecurities, "Aaaaahhhhh!!!" moments kept bubbling up regarding my decision to go. But each night, it would be THE coolest thing as I would read words of trepidation, empowerment, and personal assurances that produced a renewed sense of peace. Yes, I really AM excited to meet future students, coworkers, neighbors, and people of Morocco :) So each day, I won't stop.

And because I'm a teacher, I will now talk about my students because - well, thats just what we do: I love my students. serious. At the beginning of the school year, I always yearn for former students and I never really like the new guys. But somehow, it creeps up on me and by this point in the year, I look around at each of my kiddos and honestly wish I could keep each one. Each kid is such a "character" but I think its those little oddities that make me smile and want to squeeze them even tighter. Plus, at this point in the year, I think the kids start to like me back too - which is always a nice feeling ;) We have become a family of sorts where a simple "look" conveys a greater understanding. I also love how little moments teach me more about my own "adult" world...

Two students (lets refer to them as Ron & Hermoine, shall we?) were sitting on the carpet, which is segmented into squares, just big enough for each child to sit on. Convenient :) Ron & Hermoine are both two of the nicest kids in the class - role models of responsibility and compassion. Therefore, it makes what occurs next even more striking. Ron is sitting next to Hermoine and as the rest of the students are getting settled, I overhear them squabbling. Ron: "YOU always put your hands inside my square so its no big deal that MY hand was inside your square for just a little bit. You see, your hand is on the LINE right now. YOUR hands are in MY square, especially that little finger right there. AND your toe right now." Then Hermoine: "I don't know what you're talking about. MY hand is not inside your square EVER. This is just my finger. Besides, this is MY square and you shouldn't be putting your hand inside of it, even for a little bit!" And on, and on, and on they went, back and forth. By this point, the other children have heard my directions and return to their tables. Just the two of them remain sitting, arguing, completely wrapped up in this specific angst of territory. FINALLY, they both look up at me. I have this "what in the world?!?" smile on my face. Ron & Hermoine look at each other and start giggling, fully realizing the absurdity of the matter. I start laughing too, for how many times do I get SO intense and wrapped up in protecting my own little square (which doesn't even really exist & actually belong to me) before finally looking up, reminded of the bigger & greater things of this world???

And in case you weren't able to guess where the title of this blog's lyrics came from: here is a video clue HINT the artist is the same ;) And even if you already knew, I'd still check out the video - its a favorite of mine - makes sidewalk chalk seem magical! Furthermore, here's a shout-out to Michigan ppls... squirrels on steroids at the diag - they really are evil! haha :)

AND - in case you haven't realized already, you can also click on the Title of my blogs to bring you to the song reference :) "someone" alerted me that this wasn't explicitly stated in the rules of this blog game... i apologize :D